Here are a couple of short Christmas tales:
After Christmas Blues
Even with a full day to deliver presents, Santa doesn’t finish on time. He gets home late on Christmas Day, and he’s so exhausted he’s in bed for a week.
“It’s outrageous,” Donner snorts when Mrs Claus asks for help. “We need a new plan.”
“Oh, it’s not so bad,” Rudolph murmurs. “After all, it’s only once a year.” His nose flashes a couple of times.
Donner tosses his antlers. “Just wait until you’re my age. That sleigh gets heavier every year, and when I get back I’m too stiff to fly for at least a month.”
“Well, what do you suggest?” Vixen pipes up. “We’re already limiting our deliveries to good children between five and ten who celebrate Christmas.” She tosses her antlers and smiles.
“Yes,” Blixen adds, “and we’ve got a stack of complaints from the parents of the under-fives.”
“There’s that new North Pole Federal Express office,” Prancer offers, shifting from hoof to hoof. “We could offload the excess, just leave enough so Santa doesn’t feel useless.”
The reindeer all nod.
And that, boys and girls, is why most Christmas gifts come in the mail.
A Case of the Flue
“Santa has a fever. Mrs. Claus put him to bed.” Rudolph pawed the snowy ground. “Who will drive the sleigh?”
“No one,” Blixen said. “We’ll send everything by Federal Express.”
“Belief in Santa is at an all-time low. If we send everything by mail, no one will believe.” Rudolph tossed his antlers, almost skewering Blixen.
“And Santa will feel useless and become depressed.” Blixen led the way into the barn.
“Ready to get hitched?” one of the elves asked. Without waiting for an answer, he began harnessing the reindeer.
Blixen said, “Rudolph is in the lead. He could grab the gifts by the ribbons and drop them down the chimneys.”
“But what if the children spot the Santa-less sleigh? Then no one will ever believe again.”
“We should go. It’s our best chance to save Christmas.” Blixen stamped his hoof and turned to the elf. “Freddie, go tell Mrs. Claus to tell Santa not to worry, we’re on top of the delivery crisis.”
“Better hope everyone’s cleaned their chimney,” Blixen muttered as they rose into the air.
The rest of the reindeer snickered.
And so, boys and girls, don’t feel too bad if you got a lump or two of coal this year.
And now for a couple of poems …
is the perfect
for conserving heat,
providing the least
the North Pole.
What Happens Christmas Night
I’ve noticed that Saint Nick’s a bit
too big around for him to fit
inside our chimney, Christmas night
the struggle must be quite a sight.
Perhaps he oils his nice red suit
all over so that he can shoot
right down the chimney. Then you’ll see
he’ll cut his hand and sprain his knee.
I guess that all those aches and pains
will hurt so much that he’ll complain
that getting down was such a chore
he’s going to leave us by the door!